captwor:

when u stick your hand under the table and touch chewed gum

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wurnbo:

did i allow u to have fun without me

thauwn:

things to start doing:

  1. drink more water
  2. carry a camera everywhere i go
  3. read more books than i already do
  4. go for walks
  5. do yoga more often
  6. go to bed earlier
  7. enjoy the little things
  8. go outside more
  9. stop comparing myself to others
  10. stick to my goals n stop putting things off
  11. write down my feelings
  12. smile more, especially at random people
"aw that sucks :("
me as a professional therapist (via hotdaughter) ←

britishprostitute:

britishprostitute:

i love riding d*cks

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moltengolden:

keylimepie:

horse-ebook:

donbroccoli:

Is the alphabet called the alphabet because the first two letters in the Greek alphabet are alpha and beta?

fuck

Are there literally 75,000 people who did not realize this?

Get the fuck off your high horse yes clearly that many people didn’t know that about the fucking Greek alphabet sit down and shut the fuck up

clannyphantom:

"maybe you wouldnt be so tired if you went to bed earl-"

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"Judge a man by his questions, rather than by his answers."
Voltaire (via kuzkospoison) ←
unclefather:

appropriating frog culture

unclefather:

appropriating frog culture

gayturians:

don’t say you’re a writer if you just write fanfiction for your entertainment. you’re only a writer if you kill a bear with a typewriter to appease the spirit of hemingway and slather yourself in ink in tribute to shakespeare, the one true over-penis of literature.

lanturd:

when a hot person comes up to you

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"hey your friend is cute"

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